It's different for me. You know it is. I mean-- yes, that's what I was thinking, too, that at least I could have something, and... and I didn't stop it when it became more than that, but...

[He hesitates, licks his lips.] But I don't have to regret it. I won't have to deal with the aftermath. And I understand how selfish that is, I do, but I...

[He shakes his head and looks away, pressing a hand to his mouth, fingers curled into a fist. It is selfish, and that's exactly what he wants: to be selfish, to get the rest he's earned and earned over again by being here. To escape the pain, if he can't be spared it.]

You should have found someone who wouldn't do this to you. That's why.