[Felix remains in the bathroom when Dean switches off; in fact, he doesn't move from where he's sitting until he hears the door. He feels stuck, even trapped. It's not lost on him, the irony that he should feel this way on the day, in the moment he's finally become free. Now it's just a different kind of trap, though: now it's one of his own making. A lot of it is Dean, of course, and it never would have happened if not for him -- It's okay to want to be here while you're here -- but it's other things, too.
The lab. The library. His friends. All the strange and sometimes wonderful things he's been telling himself he hasn't wanted anything to do with, all the potential mysteries he hasn't let himself even approach. The second chance he's only just starting to realize he might want after all, if not for himself than for... someone, anyway. A new mission he's not ready to turn down.
Maybe it's not that he wants to be here, but that he doesn't want to go just yet. And he knows that's not fair to Dean at all, to dangle that possibility in front of him, to give him a hope that might turn out to be false. But Dean has said again and again that if he can only enjoy things while he has them, he wants to try, and... at least maybe Felix can give him that much. A few more days, weeks, however long, and by choice this time.
He stands up when he hears the voice in the main room, goes to greet him, accepting the hug without a word. He holds back tight, not even minding for once the way his ribs practically creak under the pressure, as if trying to say everything he's feeling -- relief and regrets both -- without having to say them out loud. He's not sure what to say to I'm proud of you, either -- he's not sure, right now, what there is to be proud of -- so he just kisses his cheek and pulls back, pulling up a smile.]
Spam
The lab. The library. His friends. All the strange and sometimes wonderful things he's been telling himself he hasn't wanted anything to do with, all the potential mysteries he hasn't let himself even approach. The second chance he's only just starting to realize he might want after all, if not for himself than for... someone, anyway. A new mission he's not ready to turn down.
Maybe it's not that he wants to be here, but that he doesn't want to go just yet. And he knows that's not fair to Dean at all, to dangle that possibility in front of him, to give him a hope that might turn out to be false. But Dean has said again and again that if he can only enjoy things while he has them, he wants to try, and... at least maybe Felix can give him that much. A few more days, weeks, however long, and by choice this time.
He stands up when he hears the voice in the main room, goes to greet him, accepting the hug without a word. He holds back tight, not even minding for once the way his ribs practically creak under the pressure, as if trying to say everything he's feeling -- relief and regrets both -- without having to say them out loud. He's not sure what to say to I'm proud of you, either -- he's not sure, right now, what there is to be proud of -- so he just kisses his cheek and pulls back, pulling up a smile.]
Let's keep the party small, okay?